Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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