i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
