Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
