i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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