I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
