first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
