At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
