So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize