I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
