Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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