Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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