I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize