Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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