Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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