You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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