We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
