woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
