drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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