Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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