When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
