Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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