Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
