Already got asked if we're dating
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
