I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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