He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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