In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize