i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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