Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
