her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
