happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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