i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
