Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
