i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize