Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
