Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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