i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
