Jerry, you need to find god
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
