So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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