So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
