You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
