I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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