but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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