So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
