I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
