Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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