I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
