i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
