The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
