I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Floor bacon is actually really good
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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