they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Drunk is not a location!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
