I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
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Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
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My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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