I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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