Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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