well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize