I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i out mim tonsoeep
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