Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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