Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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