Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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