Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
