You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
