I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
