My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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