have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
