There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Your cock deserves a montage
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
