He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
