Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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