all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
