so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Of course I have a pirate flag
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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